What are the events that steal your confidence? We all have those times when our confidence is shaken. Those times we might wonder if we are worthy of reaching our goals, that we deserve respect, or that we can recover from difficult times. I think women (especially in my generation) might have experienced more of an erosion of confidence than their male counterparts because of social conditioning. That’s why I love the current movement among women to hold other women up, knowing that as you boost one woman up, you are giving supportive energy to all women. Most women are the nurturers in this world, the silent behind-the-scene heroes in our society. They do most of the caring for and the encouragement of growth in others, be it with friends, children, or colleagues. Though I believe this is changing among Gen X and Millennial males. Certain careers also fostered male bonding and support. I noticed this “brotherhood” when my husband was a career firefighter and it continues on through his retirement years.
Being from a small town in the mid-60s, we didn’t have organized sports for girls, so I marvel at the hardiness and resilience shown in my teenage granddaughters’ league sports teams. But what makes me smile is the camaraderie among the team members. These girls greet with hugs, they run quickly to give high five’s to the girl who just made a goal, they cheer for those who limp off the field, and they make an effort to say “great game” to each team member as they leave – regardless if they lost.
Throughout life, women have found support in the groups they join. For me, it was attending a regional quilting organization, where I received an invitation to join a smaller quilting bee. We met monthly, occasionally lunched together, and twice a year we created our own quilting retreats. When I moved away I no longer quilted but I found that writers as a group are wonderfully supportive. I belong to the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Through them, I was granted three months of working with a mentor volunteer through their mentorship program. They assigned me a book coach, Jocelyn Lindsay, and I enjoyed the collaborative process immensely. I also find listening to writerly podcasts uplifting. Here again, writers support other writers.
So, if you need support for a certain endeavor or a personal goal, look for a group to meet that specific need. Also, realize you can be that person who makes a difference in another person’s life. A show of compassion, sharing your expertise, or randomly calling someone gives the message they are worthy of your time and you value the relationship.
