Adaptability: Pros and Cons

I thought I’d write this month about adaptability. Like many things in life, adaptability can be a blessing and a curse. Adaptability is the quality of adapting to new conditions. Its pitfall can be if you allow someone else to set the course for your choices, adapting to their needs and wants without taking into consideration your own.

​I think there are inherent personality types that make adaptability easier for some than for others. We can probably all bring to mind a stereotypical rigid person who thinks in black and white terms, with right or wrong evaluations. They are often uncomfortable with veering away from a routine or a mindset. Once a decision is made, it is difficult for them to explore other options. This can make life for coworkers or family members difficult. Then there are the neurodivergent conditions, for which any change from their routines can be anxiety-producing. There are even career fields with authoritarian hierarchies that condition individuals to follow a set of rules or behaviors dictated by someone else. Deviation from rules or independent thinking and actions can have consequences. Past trauma can also develop a desire to structure one’s life to avoid the risk of any further trauma. Then we have those individuals who sense change is coming and, using an adage, bury their heads in the sand, hoping change will bypass them or they can get by without acknowledging it.

​To be honest, change produces some anxiety in most everyone. Change requires us to step into the unknown after all, even when that change is self-determined. But life, relationships, work dynamics, the economy, politics, and even resources are always shifting. Right now, people are stressed. Change is happening at an accelerated pace. This makes it hard to stay informed, and there is confusion about receiving reliable information. Change is happening on so many levels and areas of our lives that we can’t comprehend how or what will impact our daily lives. There is a great deal of anxiety built into that. For many, there is already a grieving for the life they believed would be theirs or a future that now feels unattainable. How do you survive this type of stress that comes with change?

Tips:

· First, you believe you can adapt; this can require mediating the anxiety of fearful anticipation.

· Second, you will become more resilient when you take action to increase your adaptability. Now, just like there are those who have a harder time with change (please have compassion for those individuals), there are those who can pivot quickly when they sense change is needed or when change is thrust upon them. Their flexible nature or the attribute of learned positivity helps them venture into the unknown with less anxiety. Some might be risk-takers, seeing life as a continual adventure, and they trust enough in themselves to feel mostly certain that through whatever change they face, they will get through it just fine. They don’t fear experimentation; they like the challenge.

· We humans are complicated. We may show great confidence in one area of our lives and then freeze up in another situation. Our histories have given us stories that shape who we believe with are and what we are capable of. There are behavioral and cognitive patterns that served us, and some that hinder our adaptability. Think for a minute about how your own patterns have produced positive or negative outcomes in the context of change and adaptability. I suggest slowing yourself down by writing out your answers to the questions below.

Patterns:

· Write out your patterns with facing change. What has been helpful and what has hindered your adaptability in the areas of work, relationships, stress level, etc?

· Think of a time you showed resilience in the face of unwanted change—divorce, loss of a job, an injury that affected how you functioned in the world, etc.

· When have you been innovative when you faced a problem—interpersonal, at fixing a concrete problem, or when you thought ‘outside the box’ for a solution?

· If you are normally impulsive in the face of change, when had you taken your time, endured the anxiety of not knowing, and sought help for knowledge or skills? Did this provide more confidence when it came time to make a tough choice?

· Have you ever realized that you couldn’t change a situation, another person, or what happened as the result of an accident? Were you able to take ownership of your wellbeing, focus on what you can control (yourself), and did you find emotional freedom by doing so?

The reason I ask these questions is for you to discover that if you recognize a past success or the growth that came from adapting through a change, then you can tell yourself you are capable of doing it again. Resilience is built by experience. But…resilience doesn’t come from luck. It comes from a willingness to risk, to do something different, by seeing what is needed, and then by taking responsibility for adapting to the change that’s upon you. You have internal assets that will serve you and resources out there that can help you.

· Allow yourself to feel scared, but it should be a temporary state. Don’t fear failure; growth comes out of failure. Don’t have a fixed goal in mind.

· Check your body. Do you feel tight and stiff? Shake and move your body willy-nilly. You’re giving your body and mind the message that being silly/flexible means you are safe and danger is at bay…at least for now. This relief can allow creative problem-solving to flow better.

· Create a mantra or an I am statement to hold when fear creeps in…and it will again.

· Choose to monitor yourself and not allow yourself to stay stuck. You’re capable of writing a new chapter of who you are. Action equates to a new rediscovery of who you are.

​Book review: I have two books with the same theme to recommend. The Lost Bookshop by Evie Woods and The Lost and Found Bookshop by Susan Wiggs. I admired Susan’s writing so much that I started underlining in red dialogue phrases, descriptions, and verses I thought were fabulous. Reading a book like this makes me want to become a better writer.

​My publishing journey: Because authors have to do their own promotion, I have been making and posting ads on Facebook and Instagram with the help of AI and Canva. This month, I have been the featured author in the online newsletter, HenLit Central. This coming Saturday, I will have a table at the Longbeach Book Festival and take part in an author panel in the late afternoon. A few days later, I will be in Olympia to be the guest at my long-time friend’s book club. This month and next will be busy with my oldest granddaughter’s high school graduation. She will receive an academic award; she is a 4.0 student. Tomorrow is my monthly writer group luncheon – love those ladies! For you grandparents out there, I hope by next month I’ll have my newest project, Staying Close: A Grandparent’s Guide to Connecting with College Grandkids, out on Amazon. I challenged myself to self-publish this one and have had a steep learning curve with all the parts needed to have it launched on Amazon. It will be available as an eBook or a print-on-demand product. I will also sell copies, along with my novel, when I have events.