Last month, I wrote about making your own luck, and when I pondered what I would write about this month, a Mel Robbins podcast came to mind. I remember where I was sitting and how I picked up a pen and wrote out some notes. What was being said seemed important. It was a year and a half ago, during one of those challenging times in our lives. We were living in a rental while all the hardwood floors were being replaced after a water leak occurred while we were attending my publisher-sponsored conference in Texas. It was a stressful time, made more so by a deadline for my editing sheets. (That’s another larger story.)
Not trusting my memory, I looked up Mel’s podcast on YouTube, where she shared Jeff Bezos’s, the founder of Amazon, philosophy for minimizing regrets in your life. You can find what he said here on YouTube: https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-imageadvan-imageadvan_recipe&hsimp=yhs-imageadvan_recipe&hspart=imageadvan&p=Mel+Robbins+podcast+about+Jeff+Bezos+on+minimizing+having+regrets&type=251_pc.typedin.rse_rse#id=1&vid=1e6f07853e9de303f9117a3fa9a2e23f&action=view.
Years ago, Jeff Bezos had the idea of selling books online. Even though he had a stable job working on Wall Street, he had the support of his wife to pursue his idea. Next, he went to his boss and told him what he was thinking of. They took a walk as he explained the concept. The boss said, “Sounds like a good idea for someone who didn’t already have a good job.” Struggling with his decision, Jeff came up with his minimize any regrets in your life philosophy. Basically, the philosophy is if there is something you want to do in your life, ask yourself if you would regret (action taking) when you’re 80 years old, and looking back. Would you regret (action) if I failed, or would you regret more not taking the risk?
Well, we all know his choice, which worked out pretty well…don’t you think?
For myself (by the way, I’m 5 years short of 80 years old), I recognize a few regrets, but I can also look back and see what came out of the riskiest choices I’d made. The rewards that came after had layers of success and personal development that I could never have imagined. However, during the time those decisions were to be made, my husband and I agonized over examining worst-case scenarios. We had to consider the impact the choice/s would make on finances, our son, our relationship, my time availability to manage a home, and so much more. However, doing so kicked in our creative minds to come up with ways to make it work.
When we chose to move forward, as frightening as it was, exhilaration kicked in, fueled by the excitement of what the future held. This always sustained me through the hard work and the continual adjustments that were needed from both of us.
Moving from a place of comfort into unknown territory is scary. Here are some tips that might help if you have a desire that nags at you, urging you to entertain a change.
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Tips:
· Recognize that doubts will come and are normal. List your concerns. By doing so, they become problems that have solutions. Don’t let fear or anxiety take over your mind. Seek information—do research, informational interviews with someone doing what you want to experience, or who has had a similar experience.
· Don’t take negative feelings as truth. Here is a piece of advice I wrote down from a Hallmark movie that has some merit. When the voice inside your head is saying, “I can’t do this,” recognize it is only a voice. It only has strength if you let it. It doesn’t mean it is true.
· Look for people who could be in your corner as you make the change. If you decide to leap, keep them informed of your successes, your fears, and how aspects of yourself are changing as you inch your way to the goal.
· Use the Jeff Besoe method—project yourself to 80 years old. Will you regret not trying, even if you had failed?
· Make a list of your strengths and aptitudes that can serve you if you take the risk you desire.
Book Review:
Laura Joy Lloyd, author of Interesting Enough, took an unusual approach to story development. Lloyd’s process was to feed a group of readers portions of a developing story and then ask them to contribute to how the story would develop. The result was a charming tale of the inhabitants of a remote Pacific Northwest island called Wren Island. The primary character is Allison Theodore, who, after inheriting millions, buys a beautiful home on Wren Island. She likes her quiet life and has plans for her future. Unexpectedly, her deceased mother’s sisters arrive. Allison, with her big heart, opens her home to them, but in doing so, she feels she is losing herself. Each aunt has a unique personality and a set of problems. One is losing her sight, one is recovering from addictions, and the last is impulsive, colorful, and flirtatious. After the aunts move in, they integrate themselves into the community, and the relationships inside the home and within the island grow. Rising tension develops when a predator comes to the island and targets Allison. The FBI gets involved. I’ll stop here so there aren’t any spoilers.
Lloyd self-published this book, and from the beautiful cover and the appealing interior layout, you could see she put love and care into the design. Lloyd plans for this to be a series, so purchase Interesting Enough to start your journey with the characters on Wren Island.
My Book News: Last month, I experienced being a part of a podcast panel for Bookish Road Trip. At the end of this month, I will do a brief interview for a “meet the author” type of thing. I am learning Canva to produce some of my own advertisements for Facebook and Instagram. I’ve had the joy of starting to work on my next novel. I’d missed the enjoyment of developing a character and figuring out the plot for the story. I hope to take a break from marketing and designate some time to writing again after the holidays. An audiobook is in the works, and don’t forget you can request my book, More Than Luck Required, from the library. HELP: If you know of a physical therapist who has experience working with stroke patients, please contact me—conniemorganwriter@comcast.net, which is my business email. I need to consult about a plot idea. Book clubs, contact me at the above email address for in-person or Zoom scheduling.
*** A reminder/disclaimer: This newsletter is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for mental health assistance. Life is tough, and we all have to put effort into our mental health. Myself included. If you feel the desire to harm yourself or someone else, call 800-273-TALK or dial 988.
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In appreciation,
Connie
