Life Transitions: Sometimes when I sit down to write my newsletter, I let the Universe lead me to the topic I am to write about. Recent circumstances have stirred up the topic of building resilience through life experiences. This month the resilience theme has continued to pop up.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I said goodbye to one of George’s fire fighter peers from his years on “B” shift. The memorial for fallen firefighter Jack Seward was a solemn event full of tradition—bagpipes, honor guard, and accolades for his years in the fire service and his service as a Vietnam Vet. He was highly regarded in each brotherhood. While at the memorial, we saw and talked to many retirees and their wives. Sadly, we became acutely aware many men and women who filled our past were no longer with us. On the way home, George and I talked about our shifts in perspective on how we would fill our remaining lives. We also were grateful for what we had already done with our lives and hoped for more productive years ahead.
Next came a phone call from an acquaintance from 50 years ago who had been thinking of me and tracked me down. (Did you know there was a national phone book that allowed that to happen?) Anyway, Josie has an amazing memory for detail. For me, who rarely looked back, especially that far back, Josie was a catalyst for giggling my memory of the people, events, and circumstances of my life during my late 20s and early 30s. That was a turning point period for me. George and I hadn’t been married long when I met Josie through another woman while we attended the Unity Church. Unity emphasizes prayer, diversity, and affirmations. For me, it was a delightful blend of Christianity, psychology, Eastern religion, and brain science. It fascinated me so much that while working full time and raising a young child, I earned the title of a Licensed Unity Teacher through the Unity School of Religious Study at their World Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri. Through this program, I healed so many of my wounds from childhood and my first marriage. I give credit to a discussion with our minister for enlightening me about some unconscious limiting beliefs I carried. Once I went to work on eradicating the power those beliefs had over me, I conceived our son. That personal growth sparked my continued quest to learn. I enrolled at the Evergreen State College, taking evening and weekend classes.
Up next this month was another Mast Cell Activation flair-up which landed me in the ER. This was my 4th flair this year, each getting progressively worse. Not wanting to experience this again, but knowing my autoimmune condition isn’t curable (yet) nor easily predictable, I decided I have to do more to keep it under control. That brought me to thinking about resilience. The resiliency I’ve gained over my lifetime has always stemmed from my desire to be there for the people I love: as a parent — for my son, and as a grandparent—for my grandchildren. And with aging – for my beloved husband. Yet time has shifted my perspective. Those I have wanted to be there for no longer need me in the same way. They are capable and independent individuals. So recently, while feeling under the weather, I identified my 3-year obligation to my publisher as my new reason to persevere. You see, I’ve never liked letting anyone down. However, all along at some level, I let myself down. When it comes to my physical body, I expect it to be there for me…to allow me to do what I have in mind to get done. My habit is to push myself regardless of the ramifications of having a genetic condition (only recently discovered) and a cluster of complex rare conditions that manifests in strange ways at unexpected times. I battle to accept these things and I fight against them. I’ve missed the mark on both. Having a malfunctioning machine is the pits. Yet, I have collected a few tools along the way that help. It’s a given that I will continue to seek solutions to improve the quality of my life. Sure, I often need an attitude adjustment, but most often I walk through this glorious life with a grateful heart.
Helpful tips: Think of resilience as a muscle—something you can strengthen over time with practice and effort.
- Stay positive: Focus on the good things, no matter how small. Gratitude can be a powerful tool to keep your spirits up.
- Take care of yourself: Eat well, exercise, sleep, and try to manage stress. A healthy body supports a healthy mind.
- Set goals: Having something to work towards can give you a sense of purpose and direction. It also takes your mind off the bad stuff. Diversion!
- Self-reflection: Journal writing is wonderful for helping you understand your feelings and for making choices on how you want to respond to your situation.
- Reach out: There is nothing wrong with asking for support or help. Sometimes a counselor or therapist can offer valuable insights.
As you face each challenge, you build that resilience muscle a bit more. You are stronger than you think. Hard times are temporary. There is always sunshine behind the clouds.
