white mask
When October comes around, I think about Halloween. Every year, my husband and I have enjoyed taking our granddaughters to pick out costumes at the Halloween Store. Sometimes it’s only helping them construct the character costume they want to be. From what I hear, costume picking is a big deal for adults and kids alike.
There is a trend that talks about being your “authentic self. I’ve learned this means to who you are at your deepest core. The concern is if you are not true to this core, you could slip into being influenced by others. Being authentic asks us to keep a clear view of ourselves, and act according to our standards. Being your core self is also not about “life editing”, a term associated with only presenting the best side of yourself and hiding the “real you” because you think that side of yourself won’t be as positive or as pleasant to see.
I read an article in Psychology Today (December 13, 2022) titled, Stop Looking for Your Authentic Self: It is right in front of you. It said that our authentic self is the summation of our life programming from our parents, siblings, peers, teachers, employers, societal norms, and the marketing world. When it is put that way, wouldn’t influencers continue to play a role throughout our lives? When we use the philosophy lens of nature vs nurture, our basic structure of who we are is there from day one. But I wonder as we walk through life, aren’t we in a constant creative process as we are influenced by outside elements? Then there is also the unconscious practice of how we go about collecting and discarding information based on whether it matches our earlier view of who we believe ourselves to be and how the world operates. I prefer to think that every day we can, with conscious effort, yield discernment on what we will allow to influence us. That’s a big job, isn’t it?
Let me loop back around to the popularity of Halloween. When we are in costume we are playing a role. That “acting as if” lets us bypass the normal scripts we’re locked into. In terms of life transitions, when a big change occurs, sometimes it’s necessary to try on new roles(or traits) to see how they fit, or because those new roles are now necessary to succeed, or because you’ve realized aspects of yourself are underdeveloped. Often, we’ll need to look for role models to show us the way. Does this mean we are not being our authentic selves? Not to worry. You are being the self that seeks purposeful change, and that means you are in the driver’s seat.
