As I write this, I already know I am getting this newsletter out later than usual. I had been toying with the idea of not sending out a newsletter for July and August. I have felt burned out lately, and my energy has been lagging. The reality of dealing with the expectations of marketing last year’s novel and self-publishing my new non-fiction book has been a challenge. Then, the discovery of a new co-morbid condition to my already expanded list of diagnoses has required some attention, adding to my list of daily self-care requirements. Because I am a researcher, I go down a rabbit hole looking for connections, puzzling pieces of information together, and then become overwhelmed and somewhat depressed after what I have learned. Genetics is a contributory factor, and each condition seems linked. Though there are no cures for any of them, there are always suggestions for lifestyle modification, supplements, and a progression of tools to make the quality of your life better. It’s complex. Many desperate people dealing with these clusters of conditions experiment on ourselves. I am one of them and frustration comes along with it.
Therefore, the following statement hit home. Self-compassion isn’t a goal you reach once; it’s a lifelong road. Not toward some “perfect version” of yourself, but to the place where you stop being your own critic and start trusting being human is enough. This statement came from The Success Code, 6-22-26 newsletter. It is a reminder to put aside my frustration for not being able to do “what I consider enough in my day,” or when I can hardly stay awake at my computer; I remind myself of how much I have accomplished while dealing with several chronic illnesses that produce pain, fatigue, and sleepless nights. Self-compassion wipes away the stress that comes from self-judgement. Only then can I celebrate what I have accomplished under whatever circumstances my day brings. I have been fortunate in many ways. My progression has been slower than most; I am not debilitated; and my personality has me forever seeking to improve my conditions. I care about myself enough to keep trying. I know I am not the only one with chronic health issues who, for the most part, look “normal” on the outside, or maybe their conditions have changed aspects of the body they live in, which add to concerns that others may have greater expectations of us. That is where self-compassion comes in. I have to daily make the choice to live my best life despite the conditions that try to pull me down. Of course, no one likes limitations set upon them or restrictions on choices of what to eat, what to participate in, or to experience the consequences of deviating from all the “shoulds” that come with a chronic illness.
Tips I have learned from living with chronic illnesses:
1. Allow yourself to be proud of all the progress you’ve made (that day, that month, that year), especially the progress no one else sees.
2. Identify what you are feeling. Ask yourself what you need physically, emotionally, or mentally to improve how you’re feeling (no ice cream or magical thinking won’t be an effective answer).
3. Have a list of tools or practices you can do on a bad day to help move past the acute stress you are feeling. Pick one or two that are easy and comforting.
4. Place your hand on your chest, speak with compassion directly to that part of you that feels wounded, scared, and vulnerable. Speak words of love and compassion.
5. Stop pushing yourself. Know your limits. Give yourself the rest it needs to come back stronger later.
6. Sit in the sun, close your eyes, breathe slowly, and affirm I am blessed and then take the time to see and acknowledge your blessings.
7. Don’t compare yourself, your productivity, or anything about you to someone else. You are enough, always have been and always will be!
8. Distract yourself from the distress. Finding moments of joy is never a waste of time.
Book Review: Besides knowing the author and what a lovely human being she is, Painting Over The Cracks by Lee Burowski is a fabulous page-turner, women’s fiction novel. Typical of a women’s fiction novel, the heroine, Beth Collins, goes from a tragic event to carving out a second chance. However, the story is full of secrets, suspense, backstory clues, and characters you become invested in. I highly recommend this book, and it would be great for a book club discussion.
If you belong to a book club, suggest either book to them. I would love to come as a guest or visit the group through Zoom or FaceTime. There are discussion questions at the back of the book More Than Luck Required. Contact me at conniemorganwriter@comcast.net. Also, if you read my books, please put a review on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Goodreads. Thank you.
More Than Luck Required and Staying Close are available anywhere books are sold.
***Connie’s Thoughts is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for mental health treatment. If you are in a crisis, please seek help. To reach the nationwide crisis support line, dial 988.
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