My husband and I are at the age where people are leaving our lives. In the past 2.5 months, we have lost six men. Some were younger than ourselves, and some older . Each new announcement has made me feel that there is a message here for us. I am not sure who said this or if I am getting it exactly right, but someone once said that when you leave this earth, be sure you have emptied your pockets of all your gifts. The gifts referred to here aren’t monetary. They are unique to you, but could also be ordinary ones anyone could give. Your gifts, given freely and honestly, will mean something to someone. That could be a smile, a thank-you note, a listening ear, the carpool you organize, the helping hand you give, or telling someone how much you appreciate them…you get the idea. For me, writing this monthly newsletter is a gift to all of you, along with any books I write. When you think of your life as simply an accumulation of the days you walk on earth, ask yourself, “What am I giving to someone today that may have meaningful impact?” Your age or abilities don’t matter; everyone has gifts to give. If you have eyes, hands, and feet, you have the tools to give your gifts. During the last thirteen years of our marriage, my husband and I randomly say to each other, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” and offer a kiss. Then, a few years back, we came across a piece of metal artwork. A plasma cutter wrote the first few lines of the lyrics to “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” by Van Morrison. We have it hanging in the hall. We don’t need the art piece as a reminder to say those words; it’s an affirmation of what we have put into practice. The words and the accompanying kiss are random, given when a thought/feeling crosses our minds, just as it did a few minutes ago when my husband came into my office. It’s a feel-good moment we both benefit from—like the 20-second hug we rotate in the mix of ways to connect. Ask yourself what gifts would suit you to give. It has to come from the heart and be genuine. Another example: The other day, I came around a store aisle, and my cart almost collided with another lady’s cart. She apologized, even though there was nothing to apologize for. Immediately, I noticed how well her bright blue tortoiseshell glasses were against her grey hair. As I passed her, I said, “Oh, you look so cute in those blue glasses!” The change in her face informed me how much those few words meant to her. She didn’t shrug off the words; her smile showed she let the compliment in, and they produced a glow on her face.
Action steps:
1. Now think of times when someone gave you a gift of words, time, validation, or connection. Jot them down.
2. If you only had a short time to live, what non-monetary gifts could you give to another that would affect their life in positive ways?
3. If you have freely given whatever gifts are uniquely yours and you “emptied” your pockets of the gifts you could give the world, how would you feel when the time comes to leave this earth?
Book Review: Last month, my local book club read and discussed Jodi Picoult’s newest book, Hollow Bones. I have to say, not many liked it, mainly because of the topic of postpartum psychosis and child abandonment after the tragedy of the Twin Towers coming down on 911. So, read at your own risk.
My Publication Journey: I have moved on to marketing both More Than Luck Required and Staying Close: A Grandparent’s Guide to Connecting with College Grandkids. Most of my ads are now made with the help of ChatGPT. As more time became available last week, I pulled out some unfinished projects. One is a children’s picture book that depicts my granddaughter’s attachment to her blankie and how, when given her own agency, the relationship with her security object naturally changed with maturity. I have thought a comp book might be the classic I’ll Love You Forever. However, what I am really itching to spend time on is another Women’s Fiction novel that covers the themes of how attachment trauma from early childhood shows up in an adult’s life, the impact that one loving, available person can have to positively shape a neglected child’s self-esteem, how dyslexia affects self-worth, and elder financial abuse. My working title for now is What She Missed.
You could help me reach more readers by suggesting More Than Luck Required to others or your book club. I would love to come as a guest or visit the group through Zoom or FaceTime. There are discussion questions at the back of the book. Contact me at conniemorganwriter@comcast.net. Also, if you have read either book, please leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads.
More Than Luck Required is available as an ebook, paperback or audio book. Or request it through your library.
***Connie’s Thoughts is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for mental health treatment. If you are in a crisis, please seek help. To reach the nationwide crisis support line, dial 988.
