Is It Time To Edit Your Life?
By now, you might be discouraged because you haven’t followed through with your New Year’s plans perfectly, or perhaps you’d given up on yourself and never made plans. If you are in either of these predicaments, you are not alone. As a matter of fact, I am right there with you. Remember, I’ve written that writing my newsletters is not only for you but for myself as well. I am always nudging myself toward improving my status quo, which means the dreaded something’s gotta change experience. Last year was a horrible year for me. Some might raise an eyebrow at that statement, since I was fortunate at my age to have my debut novel published. The long journey to get there was never a real problem.
The problem was after the launch, when I had to come to grips with my responsibility for selling the book, operating within the ever-changing publishing “biz,” and recognizing the continued expense of it all that is mainly on the author’s shoulders. I am luckier than some. My publisher presents opportunities to help my book, even sharing the cost, at times. Authors are bombarded with “you should do this” to be a bestseller, but there are no guarantees, and most approaches are costly. Scammers are on the increase, targeting eager debut authors who want success for their book. Then there is the pirating of books from other countries (my clone is selling in Germany, the Far East, and Iran).
Since I am a frugal person, I taught myself how to use AI to create images and reels for advertisements and created ads for Facebook and Instagram on CANVA. My contacts have helped me be featured on podcasts, on the radio, in print with a local weekly newspaper, speak at book clubs, and sell in bookstores and at other events. Remember the slogan I use when autographing my books? Make Your Own Luck. I am proud to say that in the past nine months, my hard work has paid off. But boy, at 75 years old, all these new “firsts” were stressful. What was happening to my well-being during that time nagged at me. It wasn’t just the work involved with the book; it was other things piled on the stress that accompanies post-launch expectations. I have mentioned before, I have a list of chronic, painful, progressive diseases that require daily attention. I wasn’t doing what I needed to be doing because my days were so full. Thus, my conditions got worse. And I’d neglected giving time to the people I love and the activities I also value.
It was time to edit my life. Editing is removing what doesn’t serve the story, deciding what should remain that can move the story forward, and then adding in what would enhance the story. I knew my story wouldn’t have a happy ending if I kept doing what I’ve been doing. Yet, editing a novel is not a simple task, and neither is editing your own life. We often get attached to what we have written into the story. I am a work-in-progress. My M.O. is that I hate giving up on anything important to me (like being an author), but I am a realist, acknowledging that the current amount of energy spent was not sustainable for me. (Have you ever been in this frustrating place?) While being so preoccupied, other things I valued were neglected. Knowing that was stressful in itself.
This desire to edit came from me alone. I have said I wanted to quit this madness several times, but my husband always said he wouldn’t let me. He kept reminding me I should be proud of my accomplishments, and he often embarrassed me by introducing me as his “author wife” while trying to sell them a book. I knew, however, that continuing the pace and narrow focus of where I gave my time would harm myself and our relationship.
My first-priority has to be my health. I am working to accept how my age and the circumstances of my health limit all that I can do. (This is hard for me to swallow.) Recently, I felt defeated after some labs and genetic testing. I wallowed in self-pity for a while. (Perfectly acceptable, you know.) But I have never been the type to stay in that negative space. I have held the belief that there is always something we can do to improve our situation.
I am not giving up writing, but I need to tame the mental chatter that says I’m not doing enough as an author in marketing, and in getting the next book out quickly before the public forgets about me as an author. I am erasing timelines as a stress reducer. Since I have a history of persistence — slow but steady — I’m okay that what I accomplish next will come in its own time. My next two projects are in the works, but without a timestamp attached.
What this does is give me peace of mind as I add back time with my husband and time to do things I have always loved doing—cooking nutritious meals, planting and preserving what I grow in the garden, attending to my home, having time with friends… you get it. Simple things that nurture who I am.
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It is okay to prioritize different things at different stages in your life. Life moves in seasons, and each one carries a unique rhythm, purpose, and lesson. You are not behind. You are not broken. You are in a season, and that, in itself, is powerful. Trust your timing, protect your energy, and remember that even winter prepares the soul for spring.
***This quote is from The Success Code, a monthly email from a results-driven mentorship program.
Tips for editing your life:
1. Foremost, know yourself. Trust what your body and intuition are telling you about the need for change. Look at the pros and cons and seek outside knowledge. Yet, assess whether what comes your way is right for you. Be truthful to yourself. I’ve always liked opening myself up to serendipitous information; the universe is often sending messages. Listen!
2. Create a tentative plan—only you have a sense of what will work for you and what won’t. Give yourself time for experimentation, especially if it is something that would be uncomfortable to try. Be on the lookout for possibilities. There are no failures in what you try, only opportunities to learn from the experience.
3. For readers 30+ years old. I listened to Dr. Amy Shah, M.D. on the Mel Robbins podcast on Feb. 4th . Dr. Shah specializes in nutrition, internal medicine, and immunology. She has a 30/30/3 plan: 30g of protein at your first meal, 30g of fiber throughout the day, and 3 probiotic foods per day. The program is science-based for women, especially those over 30, and helps you feel better faster, supports your hormones, stabilizes your energy, and makes meals simpler. With all my food allergies, it is hard to get those 30 grams in the morning, but I am doing it, and I feel the difference.
4. I still believe small can be powerful and one step can be mighty. Also, consider that there are always corners we can’t see around until you take that next step. Keep going. No one is going to do this for you. Love yourself by taking responsibility for the change you desire. I have learned from living with a few rather rare diseases that the outside world can only be a partial guide. When things are complicated, most likely there is no one who has all the answers. You are the one who lives in your body, listens to what it is saying, and to hear the whispers of your spirit, you will have to be still enough to take in the message. Since there is no perfect answer or solution, it is often frustrating and discouraging to determine what and how to edit your life. I get it. Trust that as new knowledge comes in (sometimes confusing and contradictory), it has the potential for breakthroughs. Hope comes from taking the next step and then the next, and then along the way, the heaviness of pursuit will fade, and you will see you have made progress. Be grateful it makes the journey easier.
Book Review: I am going to apologize. Because of my lack of keeping tabs on things, I am not sure if, within the past 2+ years, I have done book reviews on these books. They deserve the spotlight, so here goes.
The first book is The Traveling Archivist by Mary B. Hansen. This book has a little of everything—an archivist’s discovery of a racist massacre of Chinese gold miners in a small Eastern Oregon town, a curmudgeon whose family was pioneer founders and desperately wants to keep that bit of history a secret, and a blooming romance. There is history, but it’s written in the current time. Mary has another in the series coming out soon.
The second book is The Secrets of the Artis Zoo by Paulette Mahurin. This book broke my heart and mended it again by the end. It took place when Holland was being invaded and then occupied by the Germans. Cruelty and rampant fear dominated the lives of every Dutch citizen, especially the Jewish residents who were systematically hunted down and removed. Our hero is Karl Bauer, the groundskeeper at the zoo. He shares the spotlight of heroism with an elephant he cares for. This wonderful creature has a strong connection with Karl and a big heart connected to his intelligent brain. The groundskeeper, the elephant, and the zoo play an important role in hiding Jews and resistance fighters.
My Publishing Journey: More Than Luck Required reached the #3 spot for audiobooks this month among my peers at Black Rose Writing publishing company. Audiobooks have gained popularity, so my publisher has gone back and made audiobooks for all his authors. I appreciated being a part of the narrator selection process. Jess Wright did a wonderful job with all the voices. My summer calendar has started to fill up with events – The Northwest Book Fair will be at Clark College this year on June 27th, and I will be selling books at the Autumn Leaf bookstore on June 6th for the Portland Book Walk. I would love it if you came to see me at either of these events.
Also, it’s rewarding when a reader writes a heartfelt review. I love hearing that my book changed a reader’s life or made them cry. I write to educate and inspire. Please help me reach more readers by suggesting my book to your or a friend’s book club. I would love to come as a guest or visit the group through Zoom or FaceTime. There are discussion questions at the back of the book. Contact me at conniemorganwriter@comcast.net.
More Than Luck Required is available everywhere books are sold.
******A reminder/discaimer: Connie’s Thoughts is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for mental health treatment. Life is tough, and we all have to put effort into our mental health at times. If you are in a crisis, please seek help. To reach the nationwide crisis support line, dial 988 or 800-273-TALK .
